Broken doesn't even describe how we feel. I can honestly say I believe in motherly instincts because I am usually the most optimistic/positive person, but with our situation I had a feeling from the beginning that something was wrong. And today we found out more things are wrong.
We found out today that our little guy's heart is pushed over to the right side of chest. There is no reason for this, just another fluke. We didn't do the bladder tap today because if there is a heart condition then the shunt will not be done and now his bladder issue is the least of our doctor's concern. Last time we went into the doctor his heart rate was 168, it is now 148. It is so hard for me to type this out and I can't say it out loud . . . our son is not going to make it. We will go into the doctor on Monday as our doctor strongly feels his heart will likely have stopped. I will then have to deliver my son that will never take his first breath.
We saw him on the US machine today for a good half hour. Moving, kicking, drinking the amniotic fluid, turning circles - we saw both of his feet, his arms, his little fingers. We have so many pictures that I can not bring myself to look at because it makes me break down even more.
Please tell me what God's reasoning is behind this? Why is he putting our family through this? Why??? I don't understand and know I will never understand
Thank you all for your prayers, thoughts, support. You have all helped us keep going.
Laura, Tom and Will