Thursday, November 18, 2010

Broken doesn't even describe how we feel.  I can honestly say I believe in motherly instincts because I am usually the most optimistic/positive person, but with our situation I had a feeling from the beginning that something was wrong.  And today we found out more things are wrong.

We found out today that our little guy's heart is pushed over to the right side of chest. There is no reason for this, just another fluke.  We didn't do the bladder tap today because if there is a heart condition then the shunt will not be done and now his bladder issue is the least of our doctor's concern.  Last time we went into the doctor his heart rate was 168, it is now 148.  It is so hard for me to type this out and I can't say it out loud . . . our son is not going to make it.  We will go into the doctor on Monday as our doctor strongly feels his heart will likely have stopped.  I will then have to deliver my son that will never take his first breath.

We saw him on the US machine today for a good half hour.  Moving, kicking, drinking the amniotic fluid, turning circles - we saw both of his feet, his arms, his little fingers.  We have so many pictures that I can not bring myself to look at because it makes me break down even more.

Please tell me what God's reasoning is behind this?  Why is he putting our family through this?  Why???  I don't understand and know I will never understand
Thank you all for your prayers, thoughts, support. You have all helped us keep going.
Laura, Tom and Will


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  2. Laura, Tom and little Will,
    I am not even sure what to say to you, but I know I must say something. I pray for strength and faith and renewed optimism for you as you move forward into the days and weeks ahead. I hope you can eventually find peace in God's plan - there is one, even if it's impossible to see right now.

  3. Laura, Tom and Will,

    My heart goes out to you. I wish someone had the answers for you, it's not fair and no parents should ever have to go through this pain. We continue to send happy thoughts, prayers and love your way. Give Will a big hug and kiss and know that you have a loving support system on your side.

    Take care,
    Liz, Eric and Eliana Mead

  4. Oh Laura~

    This post brought so many tears to my eyes. I cannot even fathom the pain you have gone through, and continue to endure. I wish I could give you a big hug, but I know that only goes so far.

    I am thinking of you non-stop today.....