Wednesday, December 22, 2010


We went to see Santa on Sunday and I really thought he would LOVE Santa, pull his hair, beard, take off his hat, grab his glasses - you get the picture.  Well, not so much.  Can you tell by his expression he could care less about Santa?  Do you want to know what he cared more about?  BALLS (aka ornaments on the trees).  Yes, that serious face of his is focusing on the balls and Santa is holding his hands down because he is likely trying to point to the balls.  The Santa nightlight gets a squeal and a ohhhhh ahhh ho ho, but not the "real" Santa? 
He's more excited about shoveling spaghettios in his mouth than he is about seeing Santa!!!! 
His favorite foods are spaghettios and macaroni and cheese.  The most processed foods, I know.

Why not sit in a bucket to read, watch my shows and drink my milk?

Or a basket?  I really wonder if he will want to sit on the bean bag Santa is going to get him for Christmas? 
Today marks one month since we lost our little guy and the pain is getting better with time, but it will never go away.  As I was running at the gym this AM a song reminded me of what we went through and I about lost it.  I managed to keep it together as I didn't want the people next to me to think I had gone crazy . . . I mean who starts bawling on a tread mill at 5:30 in the morning??  Tonight I am going to watch our last ultrasound they taped of our little boy (whose name will be posted soon) and I know I will be a mess, but it will be so good to see him.  We had the US tech record the US because we really wanted to get his heart beat recorded so we could then record it to the recordable device and put it inside a build a bear.  Well, Tom watched it over thanksgiving and the lady didn't have the sound on.  I was devastated to say the least, but focusing on what we do have instead of what we don't . . . we don't have the sound of his heart beat but we do we have a 10 minute video of him.

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